Friday, 26 April 2013

The Dos of International Online Dating

There is some truth to the saying that love is universal.  At the same time, people from different cultural backgrounds have different views about love and relationships.  If you choose to try your luck at international online dating, with the goal of finding your true love, there are some things you have to bear in mind.    

Be careful with your assumptions

Choosing to date outside of your own culture, your own comfort zone, means that you will have to have an open mind about views, attitudes, and behaviors about dating and relationships that may be different from your own. 

Especially when dating or getting to know a person online whose culture is more traditional than your own, you must expect that they may also hold conventional views about dating and relationships.  You may have the same ultimate goal of finding love and a life mate; you may even be compatible in a lot of other ways; but you may still have different, even contrasting attitudes toward online dating. 

It should be a given that you try to learn as much as you can about a certain culture, when you decide to date someone from that particular cultural background.  This might just save you from awkward situations where you do not realize that you are making comments that are considered inappropriate or disrespectful in another person’s culture.  Or it might help you avoid unknowingly agreeing to marriage.   

Be yourself

Just like you, other people who are interested in international online dating and with genuine intentions of finding a life mate are also looking for something and someone different from themselves.  So wear your uniqueness proudly.  Don’t be afraid to be yourself. 

Highlight your positive traits, but do not feel the need to embellish or fake them.  You want to find someone who will accept and love you for who you are, after all.  Just as you appreciate the distinctiveness of people from a different cultural background, a lot of these people will also appreciate your own distinctiveness.  They are actually your selling points. 

Be honest about your level of commitment

How far are you willing to go to pursue an online, cross-cultural, and long-distance relationship?  Do you have long-term plans or are you just testing the waters for now?  Even while you are just starting to meet and get to know potential partners, it is important that you are honest with them about your level of commitment.

Their goals may be different from yours and they may have expectations that you will not be able nor ready to meet.  Especially if they are seriously searching for love and a life mate and if you are still unsure of how far you are willing and capable of taking this quest, you should give them the opportunity to decide for themselves if dating you online and pursuing an online relationship with you will be worth their time by being honest with them about your intentions. 

Do your research and do it well

Unfortunately, there are many scam international dating sites and countless groups of and individual scammers that manage to infiltrate legitimate international date sites.  Practice due diligence and do a proper search for both scam sites and legitimate AND reputable ones before choosing a dating website to join. 

Perform a search on Google using the keyword “scam international dating sites.”  You can also do an individual search if you have the name of a particular website by using the name of the site plus the word “scam.”  Read what other people have to say on forums about these scam sites.  You should be aware that a lot of these scam sites and scammers also seed forums with fake positive reviews about the scam sites.  So, err on the side of caution and avoid those that have received a lot of negative feedback even if they also have some positive ones. 

When you step outside of your comfort zone, there are more external and foreign factors that may get in your way as you pursue your goal of finding the love of your life.  International online dating can be a tricky affair, but if you are always respectful toward those you meet, it can be a fruitful experience for you.

Discover tons of great information about online dating and cross-cultural relationships on the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of safe Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, relationships, and all things virtual, cross-cultural, and Chinese.

No comments:

Post a Comment