Thursday, 4 April 2013

Chinese Dating: Are You Ready for the "M" Word?

Understandably, not all foreign men on a respectable Chinese dating site are ready, in every sense of the word, to get married immediately after finding their ideal partner.  Needless to say, a man who pursues love on a Chinese dating website must already have marriage as his ultimate goal, although it would probably happen later rather than sooner or, more specifically, when he is ready, in every sense of the word, to set into motion his plans to marry his Chinese love.

Even when a man still only has his plan of action figured out, but does not yet have all the components he needs to start building his dream, and while he is still actively searching for his potential wife-to-be, he should already be ready to visit his potential partner(s) in person, when he does finally find her, and spend time with her to figure out if their attraction or love connection is as real in the real world as it was online. 

Chinese women who are on reputable Chinese dating sites are serious about finding love and the ideal man to marry.  So when a man connects with a Chinese lady, and especially when the two of them develop a serious online relationship and/or after they have already met in person and decided that a long-term commitment is worth pursuing, the woman will already have the expectation of marriage in the future and the man should be ready to, at least, discuss this possibility with her.  Whatever his circumstances are at that moment, whether or not he is financially ready to get the process of his relocation to China or her relocation to his home country started, he should already be emotionally and mentally ready to take on this lifetime commitment. 

Of course, once he finds the woman he wants to make his wife but is not yet financially ready for the relocation process, he should be honest about his circumstances with his girlfriend/fiancée and, at the same time, reassure her that marriage is a part of his long-term goals and plans.  After all, being in different countries for a prolonged period of time is sure to take a toll on the relationship.  The talk of marriage can go a long way toward making the long-distance setup more bearable and both of your hopes for the future high; getting married, even if the two of you cannot be physically together right away, can even go farther.

Along with talk of the "M" word is the decision of who is moving where.  If you feel great marriage potential in your relationship, or if it's already heading in that direction, you should discuss the logistical aspects of your relationship.  Nowadays, many Chinese women will not be wishing to relocate to their foreign fiancé's or husband's home country because there are plenty of opportunities available to them in China.  A foreign man should seriously consider if he is ready to uproot himself and move to China, to start a new life not just as a married man, but also in a foreign land.  When he does ask his girlfriend/fiancé if she would be willing to move to his country, he should remember that he would be asking her to leave her entire life behind and he should be completely certain that he would be ready to make this sacrifice a worthwhile one for his woman. 

Marriage is a huge step for anybody; it is a life-changing decision that should be given careful thought not just once, but many times over.  When it comes to Chinese online dating and cross-cultural relationships, the talk of marriage holds even more weight because the risks involved in such a relationship are also greater.  A foreign man with a genuine desire to find love and a Chinese life partner must be certain, from the very beginning of his quest that he is ready to take on the unique challenges of preparing to marry his Chinese girlfriend and of being in a cross-cultural marriage.   

Discover tons of great information about Chinese dating and cross-cultural relationships on the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of trusted Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on all things Chinese. 

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