Thursday, 18 April 2013

Can You Fall in Love Through Online Dating?

People fall in love all the time, right?  Different people define the experience of falling in love differently.  In the real world of dating, falling in love often occurs between two people whose mutual physical and emotional attraction (as well as psychological connection, if they’re lucky) is so strong, that it changes their entire world and how they see things.  Can people fall in love through online dating, as well? 

Falling in love in the real world is a beautiful experience.  And the experience is constantly enhanced by the tangible connection formed and sustained by constant personal contact.  In fact, staying in love when two people become separated by time, distance, and other circumstances and when any form of communication is halted really only happens in fairy tales.  This is the main difference between being "in love" and real, lasting love. 

With the lack of a tangible connection between two people, which is the virtual reality of online dating, is it still possible to fall in love? 

Answering this question can help bring to the forefront of online daters' understanding the real significance and necessity of first meeting someone in person and spending time with them in the real world, before deciding if they really are in love and before expressing their love.  Often, the expression of one's perceived love toward another that they have only met and spent time with online implies a commitment from the person expressing it and incites hope in the person to whom the love is expressed.

People who date online often forget the possibility that any virtual connection and attraction formed between two people may disappear once they find themselves in a real-world setting.  It can happen that there simply won't be any sparks at all when two people finally meet in person for the first time; or one may find the other lacking in some aspects (in relation to sex, for example), which may greatly diminish their attraction; or two 
people may discover that they just do not blend as well together in the real world as they did online. 

Oftentimes, when two people are finally faced with the real challenges of being in a relationship in the real world, especially when they come from completely different backgrounds or when they have to maintain a long-distance relationship for the meantime, the virtual romance suddenly fades and is superseded by the harsh realities.  More often than not, they eventually fall out of love with each other. 

Two people can, indeed, form strong bonds with each other online, and with constant communication, these bonds can be strengthened over time.  Romance can be easy to create with talks of shared hopes and dreams and possibilities.  The connection, attraction, and the romance can be easily mistaken as "being in love."  And oftentimes, it is the eagerness and the yearning to be in love that can make two people believe that they really are in love.     

It can be pointed out that the psychological and emotional bonds formed online are a more solid foundation for a lasting relationship than the physical connection.  This is actually very true of both online and real-world relationships.  Still, two people who are really in love can really only prove it if they manage to stay together despite the challenges that the real world will have them face once they step out of their virtual reality. 

In the real world, the true test of a relationship and of love is how well a couple works together to deal with their problems; in the virtual world, it is not enough that two people manage to work out their differences online to say that they really are in love.  After all, if they really are in love, they will want to take their relationship into the outside world where they will have to deal with “real” relationship problems.  If their relationship can still survive these problems, then they can claim their state of “being in love” as real. 

It is very important for people who date online to be cautious about expressing feelings of “ love” to another 
when they have yet to meet each other in person and spend adequate time together in the outside world.  At the very least, practicing sensibleness may prevent causing another person heartache and feelings of betrayal.  

Discover tons of great information about online dating and cross-cultural relationships on the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of reliable Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, relationships, and all things virtual, cross-cultural, and Chinese.

1 comment:

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