People fall in love all the time, right? Different people define the experience of
falling in love differently. In the real
world of dating, falling in love often occurs between two people whose mutual
physical and emotional attraction (as well as psychological connection, if
they’re lucky) is so strong, that it changes their entire world and how they
see things. Can people fall in love
through online dating, as well?
Falling in love in the real world is a beautiful
experience. And the experience is
constantly enhanced by the tangible connection formed and sustained by constant
personal contact. In fact, staying in
love when two people become separated by time, distance, and other
circumstances and when any form of communication is halted really only happens
in fairy tales. This is the main
difference between being "in love" and real, lasting love.
With the lack of a tangible connection between two people,
which is the virtual reality of online dating, is it still possible to fall in
love?
Answering this question can help bring to the forefront of
online daters' understanding the real significance and necessity of first
meeting someone in person and spending time with them in the real world, before
deciding if they really are in love and before expressing their love. Often, the expression of one's perceived love
toward another that they have only met and spent time with online implies a
commitment from the person expressing it and incites hope in the person to whom
the love is expressed.
People who date online often forget the possibility that any
virtual connection and attraction formed between two people may disappear once
they find themselves in a real-world setting.
It can happen that there simply won't be any sparks at all when two
people finally meet in person for the first time; or one may find the other
lacking in some aspects (in relation to sex, for example), which may greatly
diminish their attraction; or two
people may discover that they just do not
blend as well together in the real world as they did online.
Oftentimes, when two people are finally faced with the real
challenges of being in a relationship in the real world, especially when they
come from completely different backgrounds or when they have to maintain a
long-distance relationship for the meantime, the virtual romance suddenly fades
and is superseded by the harsh realities.
More often than not, they eventually fall out of love with each
other.
Two people can, indeed, form strong bonds with each other
online, and with constant communication, these bonds can be strengthened over
time. Romance can be easy to create with
talks of shared hopes and dreams and possibilities. The connection, attraction, and the romance
can be easily mistaken as "being in love." And oftentimes, it is the eagerness and the
yearning to be in love that can make two people believe that they really are in
love.
It can be pointed out that the psychological and emotional
bonds formed online are a more solid foundation for a lasting relationship than
the physical connection. This is
actually very true of both online and real-world relationships. Still, two people who are really in love can
really only prove it if they manage to stay together despite the challenges
that the real world will have them face once they step out of their virtual
reality.
In the real world, the true test of a relationship and of
love is how well a couple works together to deal with their problems; in the
virtual world, it is not enough that two people manage to work out their
differences online to say that they really are in love. After all, if they really are in love, they
will want to take their relationship into the outside world where they will
have to deal with “real” relationship problems.
If their relationship can still survive these problems, then they can
claim their state of “being in love” as real.
It is very important for people who date online to be
cautious about expressing feelings of “ love” to another
when they have yet to
meet each other in person and spend adequate time together in the outside
world. At the very least, practicing
sensibleness may prevent causing another person heartache and feelings of
betrayal.
Discover tons of great information about online dating and
cross-cultural relationships on the blogs, magazine and forum of
ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of reliable Chinese dating), where international
men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give
you the real goods on love, relationships, and all things virtual,
cross-cultural, and Chinese.
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