Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Chinese Dating, Cross-Cultural Relationships, and Lifetime Commitments

It would be safe to say that a foreign man on a reputable Chinese dating website who is seriously looking for a life mate is ready to dedicate himself to his quest and to make that lifetime commitment, perhaps even more so than some men who have already popped the question to their girlfriends.  Such a man would also realize and be ready for the kind of sacrifices he would have to make in order to reach his goals and to keep his cross-cultural relationship/marriage both strong and resilient, perhaps even more so than some men who have already said their vows.  

Men who go the traditional dating route, and even those who date online but still limit themselves to finding partners within their own country, often have the mindset of someone with the luxury of taking things slow and who can afford to have a more casual attitude toward their search for an ideal partner.  They have the opportunity to spend time with their potential partner(s) in the real world in order to figure out if they are compatible enough and are attracted to each other enough to pursue a more serious commitment.  In fact, they can afford not to think and plan too far ahead into the future, especially about the changes they would have to make in their life, even if settling down is their ultimate goal.  For many of these men, they can simply cross the bridge when they get there.

For a man who has his heart set on marrying a Chinese woman, particularly one who is searching for his future wife in China while still in his home country, a Chinese dating website provides him with the means to meet suitable partners.  While he has easy access to countless profiles of lovely Chinese ladies, online dating and starting and maintaining a long-distance, cross-cultural relationship require greater commitment and a bigger leap of faith; the stakes are higher but the prize is even more valuable.  Needless to say, such an endeavor would cost a man more in terms of money, time, effort, and patience. 

Even if the man has the financial means to visit a potential partner, or a few of them, in China or have her visit him so they can spend time together, get to know each other in a real-world setup, and determine if there is a solid connection (perhaps even love) between them, they do not have the luxury of having a casual attitude - having no long-term purpose and plans.  Even if the man can afford to visit regularly, he may not find it so easy to take time off from work and his other commitments.  At the same time, his girlfriend may also not have the luxury of taking a vacation with him every time he visits because she has her own obligations.  Unfortunately, they also do not have the luxury of simply spending time together online after work because of the difference in time zones.

What this means is every chance he gets to spend with her potential partner, whether online or when he/she visits, he should do so wisely to learn as much as he can about her, and to allow her to get to know him as much as she can, as well.  He should plan ahead, especially with regards to his long-term goals, in order to be ready to make the changes and sacrifices necessary to make a cross-cultural relationship/marriage work.  He has to be fully committed to his quest and learn as much as he can about his potential life mate's culture; at the same time, he should also find out everything he needs to know about the process of moving to China and the employment opportunities available to him there, if he would be the one relocating, and/or the process of getting his fiancĂ©e/wife to his home country, if she would be the one relocating. 

It would be safe to say that a foreign man genuinely seeking love and a life mate on a reputable Chinese dating website is financially, mentally, and emotionally ready to take on, not only this undertaking, but all the challenges that go with being in a cross-cultural, long-distance relationship/marriage.  Such a man should set off on his quest with the mindset of someone ready for a lifetime commitment, instead of someone who is only looking for casual and short-term relationships. 

Discover tons of great information about Chinese dating and cross-cultural relationships on the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of trusted Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on all things Chinese.

1 comment:

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