In any culture, having good connections is always
advantageous. While in most other
cultures, a person's actual achievements, skills, and experiences make a huge
difference in helping him/her with his/her goals and ambitions, in China, being
well-connected often has more weight. If
your plans of marrying a Chinese lady include working and living in the Middle
Kingdom, you should understand the concept of Guanxi to help you get by and,
perhaps, even flourish in this foreign environment.
Whereas, in your country, you may take advantage of your
connections to get a good recommendation from an old and a well-respected
professor or a former boss to help you get accepted in graduate school or land
a job, in the People's Republic, having guanxi (or a network of good
connections, big or small) is a big part of everyday life. The concept of guanxi permeates all aspects
of Chinese life. It can help a person
get train tickets when they are difficult to obtain because it's peak season;
it can prove very useful when one needs to make a reservation at a popular
restaurant or just to get nice tables; of course, it would also be very
valuable when one needs to close a deal or bag a promotion. For a foreign man, having guanxi can go a
long way toward obtaining permits and a visa, getting a good deal on your
long-term accommodations, and finding a decent job.
From a foreigner's perspective, which would be influenced
greatly by his own culture and partly by his personal belief system, using the
system of guanxi to get by and/or get ahead may seem unethical and unfair to
others who do not have the same connections.
When in China, however, the concept of guanxi is not so black and white;
there are numerous factors that you must consider if you even want to try and
understand the intricate underpinnings and greater implications of such a
system. If you will be working and
living in China, you will have to be ready to accept and even adopt some of the
society's deeply-ingrained practices, even if you can't understand them and
even if you don't necessarily agree with them.
If you will be in China for a significant period of time, living among
its people, and maybe even marrying a wonderful Chinese lady in the near
future, this means you will need to accept the realities in your new
environment. As they say, if you can't
beat them, join them.
One of the ways to cultivate your own guanxi is to learn the
delicate art of gift giving, particularly when it comes to business or job
opportunities. Gift giving in this sense
is considered a delicate art because you will be walking the fine line between
advantageous goodwill and respectfulness and plain and simple bribery. The general rule of thumb when giving a gift
is to give something valuable enough for the person of status to appreciate,
but not so over-the-top as to make him feel like you're showing him up. When giving gifts to more than one person,
the value of each gift should more or less be appropriate to each person's status;
that is to say, the higher the status of the person, the more valuable his gift
should be compared to the others.
You must also remember that cultivating guanxi always works
both ways. Maybe that well-respected
businessman whom you have been helping with his English lessons for free can
help you close that business deal.
Perhaps a lady friend of yours who helped you find better accommodations
with better amenities might ask you to write a letter of recommendation to help
her get into a college abroad. In any
case, developing your own guanxi is essential to how "easy" life in
China will be for you.
Discover tons of great information about Chinese women and
Chinese dating on the blogs, magazine and forum of www.ChinaLoveMatch.net, where international men and Chinese women share
their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on all
things Chinese.
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