Friday, 4 October 2013

Why Foreign Men Prefer an “Older” Chinese Wife

Despite the shortage in women that are eligible for marriage in China, the market for a Chinese wife is still wide open for foreign men; and these men only have to compete amongst themselves, not against Chinese men. This is because the pool of potential Chinese wives available to foreign men mostly include women of China that are considered “leftovers” and no longer suitable as partners for the men in their own culture.

Given that single, Chinese ladies are in very high demand, it does seem ridiculous that Chinese men are still being unrealistically picky; but as they say, one man’s “leftover” is another man’s treasure.

While Chinese men view these thirty-something, independent, educated, and successful women as “too old,” “too strong,” “not very feminine,” and/or “too successful,” western men find all these traits admirable and very ideal in a Chinese wife. For them, age does not matter; and, relatively speaking, being in their thirties does not make these women “too old” for marriage.

Additionally, independence, a high level of education, and success only make them better women – these are traits that also demonstrate maturity and open-mindedness, and all of these combined make them better suited for cross-cultural relationships.

At the same time, these self-sufficient Chinese ladies still hold in high regard the most important, traditional, Chinese values. As partners, they demonstrate loyalty, devotion, and sensibility. Even while they pursue career ambitions, family always comes first.

Their pursuit of higher education (with many holding master’s degrees and PhDs) and success in their chosen field often means that they had to defy traditional gender expectations and overcome great odds. Getting to where they are now molded them to become more well-rounded, proactive, and a woman of the world, not just of China. Given that being a Chinese wife to a foreign man comes with more than the usual marital challenges, her determination and flexibility make her better prepared, emotionally and mentally, to face these challenges.

Being independently successful also means that they can also make greater contributions to their family’s future, not only by raising a family but also by being a provider. And they certainly do not mind not being completely dependent on their husband. The appreciation and respect they get in return, as well as the stability that they are also able to provide for their family, only add to their sense of fulfillment.

Their greater knowledge of the world outside China and personal experiences make them better partners to foreign men and help balance out the cultural differences. Certainly, these women are the least likely to demonstrate sajiao behavior, which is typical of many, younger Chinese ladies. They are not clingy, insecure, demanding, and/or childish – traits that a man who is looking for a lifetime commitment with someone from a different culture might consider unbecoming in an ideal Chinese wife.

Today’s Chinese women offer the best of both worlds: the modern sensibilities of the West and the precious traditional family values of the East. A foreign man who finds a Chinese wife such as this is one, very lucky man, indeed, regardless of how these supposedly leftover women are looked down upon in their society. Chinese men certainly do not know what they are losing out on.

A foreign man looking for his dream Chinese wife would do well to learn as much as he can about the relevant issues affecting Chinese women today. He can find invaluable information on the blogs, forums, and magazine of, the home of trusted Chinese online dating and where foreign men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

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