Wednesday, 25 September 2013

The Chinese Dating Market and China’s Culture of Scrambling

More and more women of China are taking it easy on the husband hunting, but there are still a lot more who are scrambling to get married. This is why the Chinese dating market is still booming. Public parks and dating events congested with singles and parents of singles searching for a potential mate are just another demonstration of China’s culture of scrambling.

The Chinese scramble for almost anything like there’s no tomorrow. They scramble for train tickets, especially during national holidays; they scramble to get on a bus or train; they scramble for food at supermarkets when there are rumors of shortages of certain goods or when a catastrophe just has occurred.

Certainly, some of their scrambling behaviors are justified. If they don’t push their way through the long “lines” at the bus or train station, they may not be able to go home for the holiday considering the huge number of people traveling during such periods. During rush hour, commuters outnumber public transport and scrambling becomes a necessity if they want to get home as soon as possible. Scrambling for and hoarding food are understandable when there are emergencies that threaten the food supply. These, and other factors from the past, have all contributed to create and foster China’s culture of scrambling. Because even when there is no real need to hurry, it has simply become the natural tendency of the Chinese to race, swarm, push, and jostle. It seems that all it takes is for them to see a line forming somewhere, or a small group of Chinese interested in something to trigger their scrambling instinct.

Even the rich scramble for luxury goods because, well, if they don’t, then they will lose face! Given the current state of the real estate market, being slower than the next person often means losing out on a chance to get a relatively affordable and decent house.

This culture of scrambling is mostly brought about by the people’s need for a sense of security. Scrambling is taking action, and taking action ensures that they will get what they need and/or want. Of course, they can always take the laid-back route and not rush to get something; but they are always threatened by the possibility that there may be nothing left for them if they waited. This is what their history has taught them.

The same reasoning can be applied to today’s Chinese dating trends. Marriage is still seen as a means of having future security, especially by parents. This is one of the biggest reasons why they pressure their children to get married soon after they graduate from college. The longer their kids, especially the daughters, remain single, the more they worry about their future, and the more pressure they put on these bachelors and bachelorettes; at the same time, they also feel more pressured to take action themselves.

It may seem that a potential husband for their daughter should not be something that parents should be scrambling for, especially when the daughter is only in her late 20s or early to mid-30s. But for a Chinese woman to still be unmarried at this age is considered “not normal;” people, even her own parents, start to think that there must be something wrong with her. Even the most confident, independent, and successful woman of China can be negatively affected by such kinds of judgment, even more so when it comes from her own parents. And so she joins the scramble for a husband on the Chinese dating market.

While a foreign man, whether new or an old-timer in the Chinese dating scene, seriously seeking his ideal Chinese wife may think that this is not the right attitude for a Chinese lady to have when searching for a life mate, he must always remember that a modern Chinese woman’s choices are not always easy. Additionally, he must not be too quick to question her motivations. This is where having an understanding of both China’s culture and the current issues that the women of China face becomes invaluable.

Foreign men dreaming of having a Chinese wife can learn more about Chinese dating and relationships, Chinese women, Chinese customs, and life in China on the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of trusted Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

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