Chinese Women in Unhappy Marriages

What does the continuing upward trend of divorce in China say about today’s Chinese women?  Chinese society has always been strongly founded on its core family values and tradition, and it has always upheld these values and traditions above everything else.  Additionally, Chinese women are known the world over and throughout history for their traditional attitudes toward marriage, particularly toward their role as a wife.  So it is very interesting to note that most of the divorces in the country had been initiated by the wives.

In china, the fact remains that marriages are still mostly about fulfilling obligations and fiscal stability.  Indeed, singles who flock to any of the matchmaking events that are held all over China often only require a potential mate to have an identity card from (particularly one that shows the candidate is from a “good” town or city) and proof of real estate ownership (this is a condition that has to be met by the man).  If the latter’s not available, the man must show that he has the means to obtain a house or apartment for his future wife.

Obviously, merely meeting certain practical qualifications is not a good foundation for any marriage.  At the same time, such a practice has been around for as long as Chinese society has existed, but since divorce became legal in China, it’s only in the past decade that that the divorce trend started its alarming increase.

Indeed, the highest divorce rates are actually among couples in their early20s and mid-thirties.  These are couples from China’s earliest only-child generations.Arguably, getting married at an early age often spells disaster because young adults often do not yet have the experience and maturity to make them capable of handling marital difficulties and parental responsibilities.

The fact that these only-child individuals have also been raised in environments that did not allow them to learn basic interpersonal skills only further reduced their capability to deal with “mature situations.”   

As if married life in itself, and at a young age, is not complicated enough,the modern obligations and challenges they have to face compounds add to the already considerable pressure they carry.  They have jobs/careers to maintain in order to afford the ever increasing costs of living in their country; they have children to raise in a society that is only becoming more and more competitive and demanding; and they have their parents to look after,and having no siblings with whom they can share the responsibility. 

Women of China have always been known for their steadfastness and enduring devotion to their family despite the challenges; even in spite of the fact that extra-marital affairs are jokingly referred to as a national pastime of Chinese husbands, wives from older generations have stuck by their man.

It would be safe to say that regardless of the many difficulties of marriage at a relatively young age, Chinese women – with their inherent strength and strong family values – would not easily quit on their marriage.  Such attitudes are still more characteristic of their western counterparts.  But given their increased independence and confidence in their ability to survive on their own, Chinese wives have become less tolerant of infidelity and unhappy marriages.

These women would rather get divorced and face the extreme difficulty of finding another partner after actively choosing “leftover status” than put up with unfaithfulness and unfulfilled emotional needs.  They may have rushed into their first marriage for the wrong reasons, but they have finally gained the experience and maturity to know better than to stay in a relationship for more of the same, wrong reasons.

It can even be argued that unlike the divorce trends in the west, the current trend of unsuccessful Chinese marriages may actually point to an awakening from which the current and future generations of Chinese singles can benefit so that they can make better choices when they enter into marriage. 

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