Sunday, 28 July 2013

Chinese Toilet Adventures While Chinese Dating


Perhaps one thing that never occurred to you when you decided to travel to China to take that next, big step in your quest to find the Chinese love of your life through Chinese online dating is how nature’s calls will make your real-life Chinese dating experience a more… memorable one.  For obvious reasons, your toilet options were the last thing on your mind when you booked that flight to China. 

Pretty soon, however, you will realize that this trip comes with a surprise toilet adventure package!  Indeed, this is a standard and take-it-or-leave it “(non-)option” for the average traveler/visitor to the Middle Kingdom.  If you’re reading this article before that long-awaited flight to meet your special Chinese lady for the first time, then you can still adequately prepare yourself for this bonus Chinese travel adventure. 

Packs of Kleenex are always an essential for any traveler, and they are an absolute must when traveling to China where toilet paper seems to be either a scarce commodity or an unnecessary amenity so far as public toilets are concerned, that is unless you’re staying and traveling in an area where first-world comforts are not in short supply.  Even there though, many public toilets do not include toilet paper for the simple reason that if they did, the first person to use the facility would likely steal it.

Again, being an average traveler, you will most likely find yourself in average circumstances and your packs of Kleenex will help you avoid more than a few what-happens-in-China-stays-in-China kind of mortifying moments. 

This doesn’t mean you need to bring a suitcase full of tissue packs with you, just enough to get through the first day or two. You can buy these tissue packs quite readily in China at supermarkets and confectioneries for considerably less than you might pay back home.

Your average means combined with your carefree manner may mean that you won’t be very picky with the foods and the places where you’ll be eating.  No matter how undiscriminating and adventurous your palate is, your intestinal constitution may not be as tolerant.  For those times when your stomach may grumble and cramp in disagreement with your choice of food, and there are no decent public restrooms nearby, having some diarrhea medicine in your bag will be a lifesaver!

While counting the days until you and your Chinese girlfriend get to spend real time together, strengthen those thigh muscles by doing squatting exercises.  Having strong thighs will be very beneficial in many other ways, for sure, but since we’re on the topic of Chinese toilets, practicing your squats will actually serve you very well when you encounter holes in the ground instead of the sitting toilets you’re used to. 

Squatting toilets are still the norm in China, and even in the big cities public facilities that include a sitter are few and far between.  On the one hand, you can take comfort in the thought that your bare bum won’t be touching the toilet surface which will, no doubt, be spattered with… well, just use your imagination.  On the other hand, you will soon discover that leg cramps will only make aiming even more difficult than it will already prove to be, and the fact that you’re hovering will not spare your skin from your own spatter!

With those very unpleasant thoughts now in your head, you might as well make a mental note to also bring a lot of wet/antimicrobial wipes!

In addition to the scarcity of toilet paper, many public toilets in China also don’t have running water.  If the sign on the wall shows the usual silhouette of a man sitting/squatting, it will be safe to assume that the plumbing works and you can take care of your crap, pun intended.  Otherwise, and especially if the sign is just in Chinese or if it actually says “No Shitting,” then take your crap some place else. 

If you happen to visit a public restroom that’s already packed, don’t stand around figuring out where the end of the line is.  There’s no line.  What you’ll have to figure out is how to make your way to the front, because that’s what every other man in there will be doing. 

When you finally manage to cut in front everybody else and to place yourself directly outside a stall door, or behind another man already using the urinal, defend your spot with your elbows and your feet apart because somebody will always try to take it from you!                   

With these tips, you will, hopefully, be able to survive your Chinese toilet adventures without any embarrassing incidents and you’ll be coming home with only happy memories shared with your special Chinese lady.  Of course, it will be best if you can reduce the likelihood of needing to use a public restroom with proper timing and a well-thought-out strategy!

Discover tons of great information about living in China, Chinese dating and relationships, and Chinese women on the blogs, magazine and forum of ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of trusted Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.


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