Chinese Women Want You, Laowai

Plenty of foreign men are flocking to Chinese online dating sites in the hopes of finding a Chinese women.  Many more who are working in China also have the same desire.  Luckily for these men, an increasing number of Chinese women are also starting to prefer foreign men as husbands.  They are even taking classes to learn how they can marry successful expats. 

In Shanghai, the Seek-a-Husband-Training Programme offers classes that teach Chinese women, particularly those who are now sheng nu, how to find and marry their white knight in shining armor.  The fact that the programme specifically targets successful expats, however, has made it the target of criticism in the media. 

The programme’s founder and course teacher, Liang Yali, says she wants to “mass produce” the happiness she herself has found, after her marriage to her American husband (a general manager at a multinational corporation). 

Chinese women who are over 35, divorced, and are labeled sheng nu are Yali’s target market.  In an interview with Shanghai newspaper, Modern Express, Liang says, “Many Chinese women over the age of 35 experience difficulties finding husbands domestically, but in the west, in many foreigners’ minds, women aged 35 are seen as most attractive.” (Source: http://www.scmp.com/comment/blogs/article/1249631/course-teaches-chinese-women-how-marry-elite-foreigner-90-days)

The happiness Liang’s programme offers comes in the form of a one-day course, which costs 2,800 yuan; a more advanced course for 40,000 yuan; and an unlimited package which costs 100,000 yuan.

Critics have accused Liang of encouraging materialistic and gold-digging attitudes toward marriage, as her courses seem to be only targeting foreign sugar daddies.  But, in her defense, she discourages women who are only after rich husbands not to enroll in her classes, because she is in the “business of happiness.” 

In China, women over the age of 35 and especially those who are already divorced and who may also be single mothers find it close to impossible to find a mate.  Even though Chinese bachelors outnumber single females, men in the same age group are almost always already married.  Additionally, these women also have to compete with younger women who are considered more desirable.  They already carry the stigma of being leftover women, which makes them unsuitable prospects in the eyes of Chinese men. 

Fortunately for these so-called leftover women, foreign men do not think their age and marital status make them undesirable as a mate.  Indeed, many foreign men who desire a Chinese wife prefer “older” women because they have more life experiences and are more mature. 

The fact that countless foreign males seek Chinese women as wives makes Liang’s classes seem completely unnecessary.  Perhaps her classes are also able to educate Chinese women about how to successfully navigate the cross-cultural challenges of being with a foreign partner.  But, then again, the fact that her programme specifically teaches Chinese women how to land a rich foreign husband does make her intentions, and those of the women who take her classes, questionable. 

Perhaps the prevailing attitude of many Chinese women toward marriage, which demands a potential husband to have a certain income and to own a house, is a huge influence on Liang’s programme’s selective course goals.  If this is the case, then there is some truth to the accusations that she is encouraging her students to seek out foreign partners based mostly on their financial status. 

In any case, the women who attend Liang’s classes may or may not find the happiness they’re looking for 

with a foreign husband; if they do, good for them; if they don’t, then they should start giving honest thought to their real intentions and why they are failing in finding a partner. 

For the foreign men out there whose honest hearts’ desire is a Chinese wife, reputable Chinese online dating sites are a great first step toward realizing their dream.  The most trustworthy ones are where many single Chinese women who also have honest intentions of finding love also gather.     

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