Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Awkward Chinese Dating Moments: Which Way Should You Face On a Squat Toilet?


As if having to use a squat toilet isn’t inconvenient enough for most foreigners, not knowing which way to face also makes the experience very awkward.  Especially when it’s one’s desperate need to go that makes them realize that resistance to squatting is futile when it’s the only option available to them at the time, being confounded as to whether to face the door or the wall only adds to the aggravation.  When this happens while you’re Chinese dating, asking your date for “advice” may not be an option if you want to preserve the romantic atmosphere (or any respect she may now have for you). 

Whether you’re new to squatting or you simply haven’t gotten the hang of it yet, perhaps “learning” the very tricky art of squatting via a no-nonsense, straightforward instructional how-to can help get things going, in every sense of the phrase!  As WikiHow points out, “Sure, the explicitness of these instructions might make you a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as it'd be to ask someone how to use a squat toilet, or walk away from one with a mess on the floor and on your clothes.” (Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Squat-Toilet)

As for the question of which way you should face, it boils down to personal preference most of the time.  But there is a right way to face that helps minimize or prevents back spatter or, worse, making a mess. 

If you have ever used a Japanese-designed squat toilet, you would be familiar with the “dome” that can be found on one end of the bowl.  The “correct” position is facing this dome, which means your back is to the door.  Of course, most foreigners are accustomed to sitting on a toilet facing the door, so doing it the other way around may add to the discomfort.  However, this is the best position that provides the best “aim,” whether you’re emptying your bladder or your bowels.

Chinese squatty potties don’t have this dome or lip, but the Chinese also squat facing the wall.  This makes more sense when you encounter a squatter with a sloping bottom, wherein the hole is located on the deeper end.  If you are facing the “right” way, toward the wall, then you would be aiming your liquid or solid projectile directly into the hole.  But if you are facing the other direction, then you will be dumping your liquid/solid waste into the shallow end.  This is more likely to cause back spatter.

Additionally, squatters, unlike sitters, are often not filled with water.  So if you release your load into the shallow end, you might also end up “leaving a mark.”  Of course, if you’re simply voiding your bladder, then the only thing you will have to worry about is splashing pee all over yourself.   

While facing forward is more familiar and, therefore, more comfortable to you, it can cause you further discomfort and even embarrassment when you step out of the restroom with your pants wet, especially when you’re still not used to using a squatter.  And then, there’s also the embarrassment of leaving an unpleasant surprise for the next person who will use the potty.  When you’re on a date with a very special Chinese lady who may just be The One, you really do not want to find yourself in this kind of embarrassing situation! 

This very creative how-to should help make you feel more “capable” when confronted by a squatty potty!  Check out http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~AD8Y-HYS/movie.htm.  Remember, practice makes perfect!  If you’re staying in China for a prolonged period, you might as well get used to using a squatter properly.   


Discover tons of great information about living in China, Chinese dating and relationships, and Chinese women on the blogs, magazine and forum of ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of real Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

No comments:

Post a Comment