Many foreign men who desire a Chinese wife initially and
mostly develop their attraction to this cultural group of women from images of
them being depicted in the traditional sense – typically images that show them
contentedly looking after their husband’s every need at home.
While these foreign men may not really be aware that Chinese
women are more multi-dimensional and have more layers to them which make them
very ideal mates than are often acknowledged and lauded, their initial desire for a Chinese wife is still largely founded on an honest need for a deeper
connection with another person.
Aside from simply liking the “Chinese look,” most foreign
men desire a Chinese mate because they perceive them to have a caring
nature. Indeed, these men are simply
looking to feel cared for, not in the sense that they only want someone
submissive enough to attend to their every need; but in the sense that they
want a partner who has the capacity to care about their well-being.
For these men, this capacity for caring is what has become
lacking in many western/westernized women. While they may not see the complete picture of what a true Chinese woman
really is, they have, at least, captured some of the essence that makes her an
ideal life partner.
Take, for example, the story of Steven from California and Sandy from China. The
couple is featured in a PBS documentary, titled “Seeking Asian Female” and
directed by Debbie Lum.
In one interview prior to meeting Sandy online and marrying
her, Steven demonstrated the typical “enchantment” that many foreign men
experience over their incomplete notions about Asian/Chinese women. "There's this Vietnamese movie called
The Scent of Green Papaya that's got this idyllic servant girl who cooks these
beautiful meals. And you think 'gee, would it be like that?" (Source: http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/05/the-poignant-unexpected-marriage-lessons-in-i-seeking-asian-female-i/276265/).
After meeting Sandy online and deciding to fly her to the
U.S. to marry, Steven expressed his excitement over the fact that “She looks so
Chinese!”
As Steven and, in fact, many other foreign men who are lucky
enough to fulfill their dream of having a Chinese wife soon realize, Chinese
women have a lot more to offer and a lot more admirable traits than just being
caring partners.
Sandy, as the documentary reveals, worked her way up in a
factory, from working on the floor to working in the office, and managed to buy
her parents a house. Upon arriving in
the U.S., she got busy learning English and turning the house she shared with
her new husband into a real home. She
also expressed her plans to attend college and her goal of becoming a nurse.
So it seems that Steven got the entire “package” he has
always dreamed of, and more. And he
realizes how good he has it, how lucky he is to have a wife who worries about
whether or not he has already eaten and if he has been getting enough sleep. To show his wife how much he appreciates and
loves her after one of their fights, Steven did the housework himself.
Indeed, most successful stories of marriage between foreign
men and Chinese women have the same elements of true and mutual caring,
respect, appreciation, and love. No
matter how little or how much the foreign man knew about Chinese women when he
first started on his quest for a wife, no matter what his initial expectations
were, he eventually learns that there is more to being happy in a marriage than
just having someone take care of him; it’s also about having someone he can
truly care for himself.
Foreign men who desire a Chinese wife do not always have a
complete or, sometimes, not even an adequate understanding of Chinese women; but
their honest intentions, interest, and admiration for these women, combined
with their sincere desire for a healthy marriage, often more than make up for
their lack of understanding and serve as an effective compass that guides them
toward making their marriage a happy and fulfilling one.
Discover tons of great information about Chinese women and Chinese dating
on the blogs, magazine and forum of ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of trusted Chinese dating),
where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare
their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships,
and all things Chinese.
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