If there’s still any doubt that Chinese women have reached
the top, just look at all the attempts to bring them back down. Successful and independent women of China
have been labeled sheng nu; they have been accused of having standards that are
too high and of being too materialistic and selfish. They have been misrepresented in the
media.
Such is the price they are made to pay for striving for
more. In a society which has always
preferred its sons over its daughters, such attitude toward the increased
autonomy and the social and economic progress of women is not surprising at
all.
It makes one think: are all the efforts to bring modern
Chinese women down and to reign them in instigated by men? Perhaps not all of them; it is very likely
that many traditional women of China also disapprove of the drive of their
modern counterparts to step out of their traditional gender roles.
The opposition, aka the greater Chinese society, states that
these women, or the "sheng nu," represent a fear of taking things too
permissively: appreciating career while discounting the continuation of a
family lineage, seeking independence while forgetting the biological motherly
duty, fulfilling individual desires while not caring about the stability of the
society as a whole” (Source: http://thinkingchinese.com/sheng-nu-leftover-women-women-independence-social-disgrace).
For those who have been in a coma for the last year or so,
the “sheng nu” (loosely translated as “leftover women”) are highly-independent,
highly-educated, and highly-salaried Chinese women who are in their late 20s to
their late 30s and are still single. You
guessed it. Their supposed hopeless
singlehood is attributed to their ambition to pursue masters’ degrees and even
Ph.D.s, as well as financial and career successes.
They are often portrayed as women whose only priorities are
work, money, comforts and luxuries, more work, and more money. They supposedly “wasted” their early 20s –
that very narrow period in their life between their 22nd and 27th
years – going after higher education degrees and career goals instead of
seeking a husband.
Given that most Chinese men still follow the traditional
hierarchy in mate selection – that is, alpha males choose beta females, and so
on and so forth – some actually feel intimidated by these very successful women
and believe that they may not be able to meet these women’s demands, while
others’ egos simply will not let them be with a woman who has equal or much better
success than they do.
Traditional Chinese women, as well as the older generations,
are simply still resistant to the new realities that modern Chinese society are
now facing; for them, anything different that goes against age-old customs and
beliefs is simply unacceptable.
Certainly, for these modern Chinese women who are very
self-sufficient, marriage is not as compelling as it used to be. They no longer feel the need to rush into
marriage so that they can have a husband to support them and their parents
financially.
If Chinese men had an ounce of sense and also used it, they
would appreciate the value of being with a woman who does not only want them
for their money. They would also be
grateful that they can have a partner with whom they can work side by side to
create a good life, a partner who will not only be helpful at home but who can
also share the family’s financial responsibilities.
There is still, of course, the issue of age. By the time these women are ready to settle
down, and have more to contribute to the marriage, they are past the maximum
ideal marrying age for women. But is it
really so bad to be with a 28- or a 29-year-old, or even a thirty-something woman,
that these men would rather be bachelors for life?
Unless, of course, their preference for younger women is
more about being with someone they can have more control over than anything
else; if this is the case, then they
would deserve to grow old alone.
These Chinese women on top, despite the efforts of
mainstream Chinese society to bring them down, refuse to give in to pressure
and to allow themselves to be manipulated into submission. So they become “leftover women.” That’s alright; if being leftover means they
can marry their Mr. Right and have a marriage of love, loyalty, and respect,
then it’s not as awful a status as it is being made to be.
Discover tons of great information about Chinese women and Chinese dating
on the blogs, magazine and forum of ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of trusted Chinese dating),
where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare
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and all things Chinese.
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