The Lowdown on Dating Chinese Women

All your bags are packed and you’re ready to go. You’re going to start a new life in the Middle Kingdom, and aside from the deliciously genuine Chinese cuisines you can’t wait to sink your teeth into, you’re also very excited about your dating prospects. Dating Chinese women and finding your dream Chinese wife is probably the best perk you’ll be getting in the whole expat life in China package!

Aside from your random experiences with the ABCs in your home country or the immigrants in your local Chinatown; aside from the Chinese primer your company provided for you; have you done your own research about dating Chinese women and about cross-cultural relationships? Of course, you won’t be able to completely prepare for all possibilities, but knowing some very valuable, albeit general, information beforehand is a very good way to start your dating pursuits.

Pressure to Get Married.

You want to start dating Chinese women with the serious intention of marrying one, or The One; but, of course, you will most likely go about the dating process and your search for your Miss Right the way you have always done so in your country – that is, you will want to meet and date several Chinese women and take the time to get to know them before even considering pursuing a more committed relationship with one of them. And even after getting into a relationship with a Chinese woman, you will still want to take more time to see if this is “It.”

For the Chinese ladies, however, the initial encounters may already carry with them the expectation of marriage. Don’t let this turn you off and make you walk in the opposite direction as fast as you can. You must understand that this expectation is mostly brought about by the immense pressure for these women to get married right away. Especially if you will be dating modern, independent women, chances are they will be more open to taking things slow; just always make sure that you and the woman you’re interested in are on the same page about how the relationship should progress.

Long-term Plans.

Once you have found her, the Chinese woman of your dreams, the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with, meeting her parents will be just around the corner. But be aware that this meeting is generally not arranged until your girl thinks you are the one, and it is taken as a sign that marriage will follow. Don’t go there unless you are sure you are committed. Your lady will lose a lot of face if she introduces you to her family and then you back out.

And when you do go it will mean, more often than not, that you will have to lay out for her parents the entire future you have planned for you and their daughter. What this will mean for you is you will have to have a plan to lay out!

Don’t let this test of your sincerity (because this is what it basically is) terrify you. All her parents really need is the assurance that you really are in it for the long haul. They have valid reasons to think that you may just be passing through; they will worry about whether or not you will take their daughter, and future grandchildren, away. Whatever the case, come prepared and make sure you have already discussed these future plans with your girlfriend/fiancée, whatever they are. And do your best to give her parents the assurance they need.

The Birds and the Bees.

Whether the woman you’re seeing is somebody you’ve only started dating, or is already your girlfriend or fiancée, she may want to discuss marriage and family plans earlier in the relationship than how it’s done back home, but when it comes to sex, she may be completely mum and very uncomfortable. There are exceptions, of course, especially if your Chinese dating encounters are in the bigger Chinese cities; but you should expect to meet women who, even if they’re no longer virgins, are very wary of foreign men when it comes to sex.

They have very good reasons to worry; many foreign men do come to China and date women only to have sex with them. There are also those who just don’t understand why many women in China do not have a casual attitude toward sex. When you’re dating Chinese women, always be respectful and be patient. If sexual compatibility is important to you, make sure she understands this; if she wants to wait and you don’t, make her understand, too, if you want to simply move on.

Generally, Dating Chinese women is completely different experience from dating women in your part of the world. You can make things go more smoothly by always ensuring that there are no misunderstandings when it comes to your expectations and that of the Chinese woman you’re seeing.

Chinese dating can be a fun and very rewarding experience, especially if you’re looking for the Chinese woman of your dreams. Before joining the Chinese dating scene, learn as much as you can about Chinese history and culture so you will have a better understanding of Chinese women’s attitudes and behaviors. You will find invaluable information on the blogs, forums, and magazine of ChinaLoveMatch.net, the home of trusted Chinese online dating and where foreign men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.